Beware of the day, if your Snark be a Boojum!

The desperate hunt for the Not-Romney continues.

There is a wonderful graphic at the National Post, which shows decided Republican voters candidate preference over the last eight months (sourced from here), and which I shall link to, rather than showing, lest armed men batter down Cole’s door in search of evidence for multiple copyright fraud charges and be eaten by Tunch.

It looks a little like Elvis’ colon on burgers-and-blowjob night. In turn, Bachmann, Perry, Cain and Gingrich’s columns distend horrifically as they become the next Great Republican Hope, stuffed full of Republican dreams, and are, in turn, discarded. Even little Ricky (and we know what he’s stuffed with) gets a go.

The Republican Party (as unfortunate a band of Bigots, Bums, Bankers, Bastards and Baby-obsessives as you could ever hope to avoid meeting) has spent the last 8 months roaming the hills, forks and hope at the ready, reading from a blank map and trying to sniff out the Snark.

They know that, in addition to being handy for striking a light, the mystical Snark will remove black stains and bring back the Baby Jesus.

Unfortunately, they don’t know what it looks like, so every time there’s a rustle in the bushes, half of them crap themselves, while the other half immediately proclaim the finding of the Snark.

Of course, all they’ve managed to find so far is a bandersnatch, a dodo, a badly soiled jub jub bird and, most recently, a rather unpleasant Newt that keeps rubbing up against people and shitting on the carpet.

Some of them still appear to think that Newt is the real thing.

However, others have spotted movement under a Santorum tree, and have set out again to hunt, fluffing Ricky the whole way. What a rogues’ gallery they are.

Kristol:

It would also of course help Santorum’s chances to replace Gingrich down the road as the alternative to Romney—an outcome that, I suspect, might well result in a better race for the nomination and a healthier situation for the ultimate Republican nominee.

Ed Morrisey:

In the general election, I want to beat Barack Obama and send him into a prosperous retirement with his family.  In the primary, I want a party leader who demonstrates the kind of integrity and consistency that only Santorum has shown.  He worked hard for my vote, and I only wish I could be in the state to cast it on Tuesday.

Michelle Malkin:

Santorum is an eloquent spokesperson for the culture of life. He has been savaged and ridiculed by leftist elites for upholding traditional family values — not just in word, but in deed.

Douthat:

And once the not-Romney alternatives were winnowed to Rick Santorum and Newt Gingrich, I think it became clear which of the two men stood a better chance of competing with Romney in states like Ohio, Illinois and Pennsylvania.

Some guy at National Review:

When the “internals” are analyzed, Santorum rates particularly high on personal character, on sincerity, and on steadfastness of principle. Those are bedrock traits that, over a long campaign, help secure a voter’s comfort level with a candidate. A comparison with Reagan is in order here. While Santorum certainly hasn’t shown Reagan’s preternatural communication skills or sheer — almost magical — personal likeability, what matters in a race against a weak incumbent in a weak economy is that voters give themselves the psychological go-ahead for changing something as important as the president. Fear of the unknown runs strong. Even against an absurdly weak Jimmy Carter in 1980, it was only in the last week that voters swung sharply Reagan’s way: They needed reassurance, from watching his demeanor in debates, that he wasn’t the nuclear cowboy the Left tried to portray. Santorum’s palpable decency and sincerity can offer a similar reassurance against Obama. Someone as volatile as Gingrich cannot.

Jesus. I bet it took him a week to get the taste of Rick’s arse out of his mouth after that tongue bath.

Every morning I pray (to several gods of my acquaintance) for the same thing as Bill Kristol and Michelle Malkin.

“Give us Santorum, Lord,” I pray. “Let us be awash in it.”

I hope they find their Snark.

“But oh, beamish nephew, beware of the day,
If your Snark be a Boojum! For then
You will softly and suddenly vanish away, And never be met with again!”


2 Comments on “Beware of the day, if your Snark be a Boojum!”

  1. T_P_K says:

    You seem particularly candid today, Sarah. Alas, I’ve made the unfortunate discovery the word “consistency,” when used to describe Rick Santorum, makes me throw up a little in my mouth.

  2. “Unfortunately, they don’t know what it looks like, so every time there’s a rustle in the bushes, half of them crap themselves, while the other half immediately proclaim the finding of the Snark.”

    And this was just one of the lines that had me spitting red wine on my laptop.

    It’s hard to imagine a more pitiful band of buffoons. Never thought I’d live to see the day when Nixon began to look good to me.


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