A metaphor or two in the pages of a blue boy magazine

I can’t help myself. I had to go and see, and apparently they’re having a circle jerk of misery over at the Corner.

I have found that tears make such ineffective lubricant. Too chafing.

However, they all appear to agree that the wingnut pundits from the non-Corner parts of National Review Online, who are claiming that Roberts’ decision was in fact a good thing for Republicans because tax Trojan horse mumblecakes, are talking out their collective arses, which is never a good thing in a circle jerk situation.

I admit that I giggled a bit when I read Daniel Foster’s comment that:

On the substance, I’m with VDH, Ramesh, Rich, et al.

because, frankly, that sounds like a situation in which you should see your doctor before pus starts coming out, but I thought Michael Walsh’s post was rather good, if one ignored the wah wah defeat to liberty beginning, the “liberals are po-mo fraidycats” bit and the trite baseball metaphor.

Re: yesterday’s Supreme calamity, put me down in the Victor, Andy, and Jonah camp. There’s no way to rouge this porker of a decision from the chief justice as anything other than a stinging defeat for the forces of personal liberty. When you have to tell your troops that they “really” won, even as they flee the battlefield, you’re out of your mind.

As Professor Hanson notes, “rationalizing defeats is no way to learn from them.” Besides, counter-factual rationalization is the Left’s game; post-modern to a fault, they exist in an imaginary universe of dark shadows and dog whistles. So what if Roberts drop-kicked the Commerce Clause? The same end was accomplished by grabbing the taxing power instead, then helpfully rewriting the law and the administration’s own testimony to “correct” what Congress meant to say.

True, Romney had a big fund-raising day yesterday, but so what? I don’t buy the notion that Obamacare will now be the issue heading into the election; for the vast majority of Americans, that got settled yesterday, and it will be child’s play for the Left to paint conservatives as whiny sore losers and crude revanchists. Romney will again be forced to explain exactly why Romneycare was right for Massachusetts but Obamacare is wrong for America — and appeals to the Tenth Amendment just aren’t going to cut it.

We’ll probably never know why Roberts — with the country begging for clarity and resolution — walked right up to the line and then backed away. For conservatives, yesterday’s defeat is like the Red Sox in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series: one strike away . . . and then the ball rolls through Buckner’s legs.

Rouge this porker. Hee.

Rich Lowry sticks an umpire, a tsunami, a zombie, a sweaty jockstrap and quite possibly a snake, a dog and a rooster into a stout leather bag, gives it a few whacks with a stick and throws it into the Tiber.

Chief Justice John Roberts famously defined himself as an umpire in his confirmation hearings. But an umpire is willing to make the toughest calls.

In his Obamacare decision, Roberts the umpire blinked. By issuing a decision that forestalled the tsunami of criticism that would have come his way had he struck down the law (as an activist, a partisan, and an altogether rotten human being), Roberts effectively rewrote the constitutionally problematic portions of it. He overstepped his bounds. The umpire called a balk, but gave the pitcher a do-over. The ref called a foul, but didn’t interrupt the play.

As a result, there’s Obamacare as passed by Congress. Then there’s Obamacare as passed by the Supreme Court.

Sadly I can’t tell you what Jonah Goldberg thinks because in line two of his article he started talking about haruspices and I had to stop reading before I broke my iPad.

Finally, Victor Davis Hanson, who I have always liked in a creepy-nephew-who-is-probably-a-serial-killer-but-gets-you-good-coke kind of way, hits several nails squarely on the head:

Meanwhile, after a “disastrous” May and June, Obama is edging up again in the polls. For all the reports of his fundraising problems or his existential election crises, he seems to have many millions in key swing states to run class-warfare hits against Romney. The serial “Swiss bank accounts” and “shipping jobs overseas” don’t seem to be countered, and so are having some effect. If Obama is where he is after a disastrous 60 days, where will he be after a so-so next two months? … All of the above should mobilize conservatives in 2012 as never before and open their eyes to the resources and zealotry pledged against them: November is really a sort of last-ditch effort in a way prior elections were not.

[Image: Tullia Drives over the Corpse of her Father, by Jean Bardin.]

One Comment on “A metaphor or two in the pages of a blue boy magazine”

  1. heydave says:

    I always love to hear the phrase “as never before,” over and over and…

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